WE ARE HERE!

After 9 months of worry, stress, fear and anxiety the moment we have been in pins and needles waiting for has finally arrived.  Steuart had his lung surgery on Thursday at Children's Hospital of Alabama in Birmingham.  We had an idea of what we were dealing with but were not 100% sure until the surgeon got in but now know exactly what it was.  He was diagnosed with a CCAM at 18 weeks gestation. At about 34 weeks the diagnosis was changed to a CCAM/ BPS hybrid as they found a feeder vessel from the Aorta to the mass.  The CT scan he had up here at about 3 months of age showed the mass still there, vessel still there but also showed a second vessel that hooked to the right lung.  They had never seen anything like that before.  They were under the impression that they were going to have to take the entire lower lobe of his left lung.  As it turns out the mass was not fully in his lung but was attached to his lung.  It was an extra lobar BPS.  They did not have to take as much of the lung because of this and were able to cut the blood supply to that vessel and cauterize it.  The second vessel as it turns out was not feeding a second mass- more good news.  Baby Steuart is doing well and is 5 months today.

The staff at Children's has been amazing.  We have had a wonderful experience here and although I am ready to be out of the hospital for a while, if we ever had to come back for Steuart or Hunter this is where I would want to be.

We have been on the special care floor since Thursday and may be moved to the surgical floor tomorrow which is a step down.  At this time they will likely remove his chest tube and then we should be able to come home on Monday.

I appreciate all of the support, thoughts, prayers, and kind words from everyone at this most stressful time.  I am very happy with the outcome and very glad to be able to put this behind us soon.

I hope everyone has a great weekend and thanks for checking on Steuart and the rest of us!

I've said it before and I will say it again.....a million times.....I LOVE MY OB TEAM!

"People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt."  - Seneca

Many of you that keep up with my blog know of the issues that we have had concerning Steuart's medical issues.  Although his particular case could not have been prevented it was made much easier to get through by my primary OB team.  I say TEAM because every single one of them was crucial to getting me through my pregnancy.  And they remain a huge part of my postpartum care.  

When I moved to Mobile I was looking for a good "girly doctor".  Everyone told me to go to Helen Rogers.  They were right.  She is amazing and I just thought she was the sweetest doctor.  Then I became pregnant with Hunter and saw her more.  And her nurses.  They were a really nice group but just nice people I saw when I went in to the doctors office.  The few years in between we grew closer as I was in much, much more.  I never realized what an important role EVERYONE in that office plays until recently.  

Let's start with the first person you see when you check in.  Everytime I walk in that office she knows me by name.  Greets me with enthusiasm, asks how Hunter is doing and when I leave tells me to have a great week and she will see me next time.  That personal touch is important at a doctors office.  Especially when you are stressed and scared.  The next stop is the lab.  I have had the same lab tech there for years and she is GREAT.  You cannot even feel needles when she takes blood and she speaks while you are sitting there.  She doesn't seem annoyed to be there, she is always very friendly.  I hate needles and always have to look away and so she will engage me in conversation to pass the time while I am sitting there so I don't pay attention to the needle in my arm.  I'm convinced that Jennifer the ultrasound tech helped save Steuart and were it not for her we may not have had such a great outcome.  She is the one that initially found the mass on his lung at 18 weeks.  I also saw her just about weekly for the duration.  Leana and Jenny, my doctors nurses are beyond amazing.  They have been there ANYTIME for ANYTHING.  Seriously.  Anything.  And by anytime I mean I have had to contact them on holiday weekends and they were there.  And Dr. Helen I just adore.  She is the most caring doctor I have ever had.  She genuinely cares about my health and well being.  And I know that.  She is very popular and hard to get in with.  Sometimes the wait is long but it is so worth it.  That team has been through a lot with me.  Starting before Hunter.  They have been there when I was trying to get pregnant, through pregnancy loss and through a high risk pregnancy and were caring and attentive every step of the way.   You know you have a great group when they will call you to check on you just to make sure you are ok.  When they go out of their way on their day off to care for you or make sure you are able to get the medication you need.  Hunter adores them.  He asks if we can go see the "ring pop" doctor.  Every time he is in there with me the nurses will come get him and take him to get a ring pop in Dr. Helens office.  Then, after the appointment she will usually let him go in and pick out another one.  He loves it. 

I adore that team.  For the care that I have been given I will gladly wait two hours in the lobby to see them.  Especially since I have been the patient that has been the reason for the delay in the past.  You never know how important each role of the office is until you are in a situation like some of the ones we have been in and I cannot begin to articulate how much I love all of them.  

So..........if you are looking for a new doctor I HIGHLY recommend them.  They really go above and beyond the "job" and truly care about their patients.  I have seen the same people in that office for 7 years now.  I like the familiarity of it, it's like a family.  I am looking forward to going through menopause with them and the day the doctor retires I truly do not know what I will do.  

Promise Yourself.........

"..........To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear and too happy to permit the presence of trouble......"  - Christian D. Larson

I made a new friend last week.  Shocker, I know.  But this friend has an idea of what we are going through with baby Steuart.  I know a lot of people can relate but it really is nice to have someone that you can ask questions and someone that can tell you what to pack for what could be over a week at a hospital.  We had dinner and wine and she came prepared with a list of so much of what I needed to take with me, where to stay, questions to ask and many warnings.  It has helped ease my mind on matters of logistics and specifics.  Of course the whole thing is scary but now I don't have to stress over whether or not I need to bring my own bottles.  And, although I would not wish it on anyone, it is nice to know someone else has been just as scared as you have been about their child.  

In six and a half weeks my little baby boy will not quite be 5 months old and will have major surgery to have half of a lung removed.  If I said it did not scare the hell out of me I would be lying my butt off.  At this point I have to completely trust the medical professionals we have entrusted to care for our baby, stay strong to keep things as normal as possible for Hunter, and hope and pray that everything goes well.  In the mean time I will likely have a few breakdowns and need a couple of wine nights with the girls........and maybe some date nights with the hub.  Anyone know if Veuve is traded on the NYSE?  Maybe I should buy stock now.

Catching Up......

"The love of family and the admiration of friends is much more important than wealth and privilege."
- Charles Kuralt

I'm not completely certain that I truly knew the meaning of the word "BUSY" until I had my second child.  Now I know.  Sometimes I wish I did not.  

I love staying busy, it makes me feel a sense of fulfillment in my everyday life.  I feel a sense of accomplishment when I complete tasks and don't sit down all day.  This is where the Keurig comes in to play even more.  I swear if I don't drink 5 cups of coffee I get nothing done.  As if I am not busy enough I have decided to start working again.  I am very excited about this.  I still want to be able to be the "stay at home mom" and run carpool, handle cleaning, laundry, cooking, etc but I have decided that there is some room in my already full life for professional development as well.  I will be taking on just a few clients and working part time from my home.  As Steuart is unable to attend daycare due to his health issues I cannot work outside of the home so I am bringing work into the home.  I have been out of the game for a little while but stay current through blogs and newsletters for social media.  This will provide a new challenge for me that I am very much looking forward to.  Stay tuned for exciting updates and news about new clients!  

We have not had to really go anywhere lately which is a good thing.  Mardi Gras was very busy between balls, barn parties and parades but we found a way to stay sane and have a good time with the kiddos.  I am very glad it is over though.  Jason had a blast riding a couple of times this year and I had fun getting up at the crack of dawn after the balls!  

Steuart will have his surgery exactly two months from today so I am working hard to put things in place for Hunter for our absence and make sure he is taken care of.  Since my mother will be here I am not worried about him but sure will miss him while we are gone.  Good thing I will now have something to work on from the hospital :-)  Hunter is still the best big brother on the planet and is very excited about the school year winding down so he can be a "grader" next year.  

Jason is once again on the committee for the Chili Cook-off for the American Cancer Society.  He is the Entertainment Chair again so we will be out to support that event.  He has also been racking up brownie points at home for doing morning carpool, bringing home fresh flowers and cooking dinner.  

One thing that I have found rather exciting that I may not have before is researching cars.  I am starting to look into what my next car will be since we have completely outgrown my pathfinder.  I love it but I need a 3rd row and cargo space so I have really focused on Ford Expeditions.  I hear they have more cargo space that the Tahoe/ Yukon when the 3rd row is up.  Jason wants to go American this time to support our already struggling economy.  Interesting choice as I have never had anything but Japanese cars but hey- I will try most anything once.  So there is that!

I'm also taking suggestions for new topics!  I come up with stuff to blog about all the time but by the time I sit down to do it I forget.  Send some to me!  

This Obsession Will Not Stand!

"Obsession is the single most wasteful human activity, because with an obsession you keep coming back and back and back to the same question and never get an answer."
-Norman Mailer

I have found that recently there are a few things I'm absolutely obsessed with. My stroller, my coffee maker, finding the perfect pair of black boots, and finally- the perfect pair of skinny jeans. All of the above are- in their own right- very important.

Lets start with the stroller. Strollers have come a long way since 2007. Yes. Since 2007. I realize that is only 6 years ago but it's true. I loved the stroller I had with Hunter. It was a mint green Peg Perego Pliko lite. My matching car seat snapped right in and it was super convenient, easy to fold and didnt take up much space. When I started looking for strollers for Steuart I just knew I was going to get another Perego. UNTIL.........one night Jason went to a concert at the Saenger and my life changed. I opened an email from diapers.com about a special Britax was running. Buy a Britax B Ready stroller and get an accessory free. So I started to research it. I mean, it looked like a good deal. The free accessory could be a bassinet, one of two infant seats, a second seat or one of two convertible car seats. The stroller was on sale 20% off and had free shipping. So I was able to get the awesome stroller and the Britax Chaperone for free. Hello, it's a wonderful life!

This stroller is AWESOME! It is a modular system. The biggest selling point is that it can convert to a double by adding a second seat. The seat is removable. You can snap the infant seat right on the frame and the bassinet attachment as well. My stroller is silver and so is my carseat but I bought the bassinet in green. It's like having 3 strollers. The handle is adjustable so someone over 6 feet could push it without bending down but I can lower it for my 5 year old to push. It's also super easy to steer with one hand. The cup holder is large enough for my super size Tervis tumblers and the cargo area below is amazing- super roomy! The bassinet attachment is great bc the baby can lay down and stretch out. If I am in a hurry I can just throw the car seat on. It can go on rear or forward facing. As all the components can. The wheels are rubber and the suspension is great. It takes bumps with ease and has a great turn radius too. I try to think of things to do just so I can use my stroller! It's super stylish. Looks a lot like the UPPA. Although it takes up more room in my car it's totally worth it. OBSESSED. I am OBSESSED!

Being a new mom for the second time- and I say "new" mom because there is such an age difference between Hunter and Steuart that I had forgotten lots of the little things you tend to forget in order to talk yourself into another- like lack of sleep. I had heard so much about Keurigs that I started to research them. I knew I didn't want the tiny one and likely didnt need the platinum until I knew if I liked it so I got the step down- the Special Edition. I should have gone with the Platinum because I am OBSESSED. I also bought the mesh drawer KCup holder to go with it. It's great for saving counter space bc the keurig sits on top of it and the surface is roomy enough for my sugar dish, k cup attachment and flavor syrup as well. It's also fun to look for K-Cup deals and try new flavors. We have hot chocolate for Hunter as well as hot tea for mommy. Since I'm up way earlier these days I drink more coffee. Sometimes I find myself having like 5 cups before noon and sometimes just one. That's why this machine is so great. It's super quick and I don't waste an entire pot. I just pop in a K-Cup and BOOM! Instant gratification. I cannot get enough of it. OBSESSED!

The perfect pair of boots is hard to find for someone as picky as I am. I have been looking for 3 years. As soon as I make the decision to commit of course my size is sold out completely. EVERYWHERE. Now I have found two pairs that I like and know I need to hurry, make the decision and buy before every female on the planet with the exception of me has them. I mean is it really too much to ask for a good looking black boot that isn't too tall or short, isn't too high or flat, isn't too tight in the calf or foot and can be dressed up or can be completely casual. I think I have found the perfect pair of black riding boots- thank you Frye. Once I purchase we will see if I will keep them :-)

Much like the perfect pair of boots I have been looking for the perfect pair of skinny jeans. I L-O-V-E a pair of James jeggings I got like 3 years ago but they have almost been loved to death. I bought a pair of J Brand skinny jeans last year. They are great to wear with ballet flats but are not skinny enough for boots. And they don't have much give. They are great in the legs, but the waist stretches FAST and if you aren't wearing a belt you have to pull up your pants all day. That's annoying. I bought a pair of Earnest Sewn skinny whites and they are ok. Not skinny enough for boots. But good to wear with slides. I can't remember the style of the pair I love. So the other day I purchased a pair of James "twiggy" jeggings. They were supposed to be dark blue but might as well be navy or black they are so dark. I wish I could find a pair that worked great with boots and flats, could be dressed up or down and had some give but not too much. Is that too much to ask?

At least I have the perfect stroller and coffee maker if I can't find the perfect boots and jeans :-)

Waiting for What Will Become the "New Normal"

"I didn't want normal until I didn't have it anymore" -Maggie Stiefvater, Lament: The Faerie Queen's Deception

I was speaking with a friend the other day who has been through the ringer medically with one of her children. At first she didn't quite know how to deal with the weight of it all and sought advice from her priest. "Well, you will just find your new normal" he told her. And so we do.

Since my 18th week of pregnancy with Steuart I knew that we were facing a long road ahead of us with many unknowns. The baby was less than half baked and already had some pretty serious issues that I have explained in a previous post. Since that time it has been a game of waiting. And waiting. And more waiting.

We FINALLY after two delays had our appointment at Children's Hospital of Alabama in Birmingham. We went up last Monday and went right in to have a CT Scan with contrast of his chest to see what the mass on his left lung had done and whether or not we would be having surgery. The last few weeks of my pregnancy the mass had not gotten larger or smaller- it had just stayed the same. Poor little Steuart had to have two IVs run because the first didn't take the way they needed. I think it was worse for me than it was for him.

After they took the pictures they needed we went downstairs to meet with our pediatric surgeon, Dr. Anderson. Obviously we were nervous and anxious but ready to hear FINALLY what was going on with our baby boy.

He informed us that the mass was about 20% of his left lung. The feeder vessel they found towards the end that goes from the lung to the aorta is still there. The diagnosis is still a CCAM/ BPS. BUT......when they were able to see more detailed pics with the CT they also found a second vessel that hooks around to the right lung. The surgeon has never seen this before. He called on several members of his surgical team- none of whom had seen this either. The CCAM diagnosis is rare- only 1/25-35000 pregnancies. The BPS hybrid make it even less common and now the second vessel super rare- obviously if they have never seen this.

So, April 25 Steuart will have the lower lobe of his left lung removed. The surgery will take longer than anticipated due to the second vessel. They don't totally know what to make of it yet and will know more once they get in his chest. He will have a tube in to drain fluid and that will cause him some discomfort and pain. The average hospital stay is 4-7 days but could be as many as 10. Hoping that will not be the case with us.

Since the lungs regenerate until around the age of 6-8 he will eventually have two full lungs. Dr. Anderson said that although he may never be an olympic marathoner, he should live a completely normal and full life. He will be able to play just like a normal child and do normal things as he grows up. We will need to be careful with respiratory illnesses because those can be problematic at first but otherwise he will be ok.

So. Now we work on the new normal. Trying to find a good balance between caring for Steuart and making sure Hunter is getting the attention he needs as well. I don't want him to feel ignored or any less important. We will figure out a way to be in Birmingham and Mobile at the same time and learn how to care for a newborn with medical issues.

The good thing is that Steuart made it here and we have him and are able to care for him. It will be hard I am sure because they cannot tell you at that age that they hurt and I am also sure it will be harder on me than it is on him. I hate seeing my babies sick or hurt. Especially when there really is not much I can do to make them feel better. Luckily babies are resilient and he will be just shy of 5 months so he will not remember this.

We have had a wonderful support system in our friends and family. I'm not sure we would have gotten through this so far without them. And, at this point I don't know how I will make it through this with my sanity in tact but I am sure I will find a way. I'll find my new normal.