Another Mardi Gras In The Books......THANK GOD

"Happiness is when you feel good about yourself without feeling the need for anyone else's approval"

Another Mardi Gras has come and gone. I always get so excited when it is almost here but I am SO GLAD when it is over. SO MANY PARTIES! We are fortunate to live in a place that celebrates something so extravagantly for an extended period of time. This year, Carnival came early. Pretty much right after Christmas. There was no break. That made for an exhausting couple of months. 

Last year I was a few months post partum. I had Hooper in October and was still nursing and had gained weight and had ridiculous boobs. I will never again have boobs like that again. Let's mourn the loss of the huge au natural tatas. Moving on...... I was SO SELF CONSCIOUS. I was wearing industrial strength spanx to EVERYTHING. I was wearing size 12 gowns. I was bloated. I was large. I was so uncomfortable with myself that I hated every second of it. That's pretty much how it has been the past few years. And I make a plan to lose weight and eat better and that is all it is, a plan. 

WELL......this year Cinderella got to go to the ball! Lots of balls and play dress up. I enjoyed every second of dressing for balls and parties this year. The only problem I really ran in to was that my dress for the KOR reception was a size 6 and two sizes too BIG. Yep, it was large and it was a size 6. I was able to pick out gowns this year that I WANTED to wear. Not things I had to wear because they would hide my ass or my mom belly. That is an amazing feeling. I have not been able to wear clothing that I enjoy wearing in a long time and now I can fit in great designer clothes and I love every second of it. 

I still have a little way to go but I am getting there. A little bit every day. Seeing the photos of myself from last mardi gras compared to this mardi gras was a HUGE confidence boost. The best thing I ever did was take the first step. I now have a body I am comfortable in. I feel better from the inside out. I have a growing business. I have jeans that I love and I have muscles!!!! Pretty soon I will be able to bounce a quarter off my ass. Thank you, Hammer and Chisel for that. 

I've been so motivated and have loved these beachbody programs so much that I have decided to get certified as a personal trainer AND get certified in sports nutrition! I love it. I really do and being passionate about something for ME is amazing. It has given me a new sense of purpose and a drive that isn't slowing any time soon. I cannot wait to see how far I can take this!

NOTHING and I mean NOTHING tastes as good as fit feels!

Mardi Gras Photos 2015

Here are some photos from Mardi Gras this year.  We survived another carnival season- barely- and had a great time!  

Is Today Friday? Or Maybe Wednesday? I Can't Remember.......They All Run Together

"The days pass slowly but the years fly by" - I heard it from a friend

This quote could not be more true.  I am 36.  Yes, I just gave my age away.  I used to be so proud that I looked nowhere near that number but lately I've aged about 10 years in two months.  It happens and I am ok with that, I knew it was coming one day.  I've started to be really careful about making sure I moisturize and use good eye cream and have started using a wrinkle serum.  We will call that preventative but I would be lying if I didn't say that I was noticing more "activity" around the eyes lately.  I have to get my hair done more often.  We will just say it grows faster now.  THANK GOD for Jason Chambers at HeadDress.  I have now been married a decade and have three beautiful children and it seems like just yesterday I was in college and fully functional on two hours of sleep after about 12 hours of drinking at Gallette's.  Now I am "functional" on two hours of sleep because I have to be with a newborn, 2 year old and 7 year old.  Someone constantly needs to eat, is crying because of a nightmare or falls out of the bed.  There is always, ALWAYS something happening to insure that I do not get 8 straight hours of sleep in one night.   I adjust.

We wake up for the day at 6am.  Sometimes I am up at 4:30 and try to take a nap but it doesn't really work.  Sometimes 5:30 but always by 6.  The baby needs to eat, the toddler needs to be changed and fed and the 7 year old needs a school uniform.  After we get the uniform we go on the hunt for the shoes because no matter how many times I say "put your shoes where they belong" it just never sinks in.  Where's the belt?  Did you have breakfast?  Are your teeth brushed?  Hair brushed?  Where is your sweatshirt?  School fleece?  I need your lunch box and snack bag.  Did you get your gym bag that I packed last night?  Do you have your backpack ready?  Did you let the dogs out?  Did you make your bed?  Stop watching TV and get ready!  Hurry and brush your teeth!  We are leaving in 45 seconds.......Great!  We are late again.......

That is just the hour and a half that we are all home in the morning.  Daddy takes big kid to school then I sweep in to overdrive making sure dishes are done, laundry is started, house is straightened and kids are fed breakfast.  IF I am going to get a shower in the morning I have about a 10 minute window between doing all that while my coffee gets cold and then getting the toddler ready for moms day out, the baby ready to take him and myself dressed because it is often frowned upon to wear your old man flannel pajamas and need to replace fuzzy slippers to take your child to his nursery school.   IF I am lucky I will have time to take the baby for a walk in the neighborhood across the street at drop off and get a few minutes of exercise.  Then we rush off to run errands.  Usually things like picking up dog food, something big brother needs for school or a last minute gift I forgot to get someone.  Oh, then maybe I need to grab something the hubs doesn't have time to grab, swing by the store to get a casserole for the friend who just had a baby, lost a loved one, had surgery, etc.  Drop that by their house, stuff for the hubs by his office, dash home to feed the baby and shove a salad in my mouth while standing up and fly out the door again to pick up the toddler by 1.

We now have an hour to run errands because I cannot take them home since we have to be at the next carpool by 2 in order to not have to wait 30 minutes in the line.  Usually these errands are the dash in type or drive through like running by Claude Moore or the dry cleaner.  We are in the carpool line by 2 PM like clock work then we sit for 30 minutes waiting for the 2nd grade to come out.  During this 30 minutes, without fail the baby will need to be fed, the toddler will start screaming like I am beating him and I will be telling myself to stay calm and maybe they will stop.  When we get home around 2:45 then the afternoon meltdowns start.  The baby gets fed, the toddler gets a snack and put down for a nap which sometimes he is fine with and other times he screams like the house is on fire.  The big kid then starts asking NON STOP what he can have to eat.  Homework gets done, baby gets fed, laundry gets folded and dinner gets started.  If I have time I will peel an orange which I will eat standing up.  If I am lucky after a couple of hours of whining and screaming and crying my husband will come home from work- if he does not have a business dinner- and the kids will stop everything they are doing to rush to daddy so very happy to see him as the baby pukes on whatever it is I have on at the moment which is usually a t-shirt and yoga pants or running tights.  Oh, and all the while I have been working too.  I work for myself so I'm doing that while all this is going on.

Now that daddy is home and all is well with the world as far as the kids are concerned the evening routine can start.  Daddy puts on comfy clothes that resemble what mommy has been in all day because mommy can't get dressed and then he puts on the iPad.  Kitchen dance party time.  My 2 year old does love it when a beat drops.  This usually happens while I am still trying to cook dinner, fold laundry and keep a baby happy.  Clearly we all have to be in whatever room I am working on at the time because I can't do anything alone.  Speaking of that, every time I have gotten to go to the bathroom I have had a toddler in there with me and a 7 year old trying to walk in to see if he can have something else to eat.  I'm lucky if I can potty without a toddler on my lap.  No, I am not joking.  Dinner gets served, kids complain, toddler throws his food to the dogs.  I am not joking.  Wish I was joking.  I clean up the dishes, feed the baby, get the water ready for the toddlers bath.  Husband sweeps in and bathes him then I get to wrestle with him for 15 minutes trying to get him back in a diaper and in to his footies.  Then he gets put down for bed but since he is a little OCD we have to get his milk, put him in bed, give him the milk then cover him in his favorite blanket- in that order- or he freaks out.  I then bathe the baby, dress the baby, feed the baby while the big kid is getting in the shower.  Baby goes in his swing and big kid goes to bed.  IF I am lucky I can get a cup of tea.  I straighten up around the couch.  My husband and I sit down and turn on the TV.  It's usually between 8 and 9 now and I have been on my feet for at least 14-15 hours if not more.  I am exhausted but try to stay awake because around 10 we have to feed the dogs, let the dogs out, get ready for bed, check on other two kids, feed the baby, put on pajamas, wash face, brush teeth, etc then turn out the light.  It's now almost 11.  That is my day.  Everyday.  They all run together.  I'm fine with that because I am lucky to be able to do it and I adore my children but even I need a break every now and then.

Do you ever wonder why moms, especially moms with multiple children are always so jealous of their friends who get to go to nice dinners or out for cocktails or out of the house in general?  I'll tell you why.  I am lucky if I get to look like a normal human and put on jeans or makeup.  I don't know what to do with myself if I have time to blow dry my hair.  When I get let out of my cage and get to have a couple glasses of wine I am ecstatic.  I will likely stay out until midnight (GASP) not so much because I want to drink, but because I get to talk to grown ups.  I get to have adult conversation and catch up with my friends face to face not using emoji to express emotions like surprise or laughing.

Every now and then I get to take a breath and look at my kids.  My big kid has turned in to this little adult that I am so proud of and he is a GREAT role model for his two younger brothers.  In that brief moment I think back to when he was born, his first steps, the look of surprise in his face on his second christmas and those little moments that you don't really think about when you are in them but when you see photos they are the best memories.   I think how fast his feet have grown and how tall he is when just yesterday he was in newborn clothes.  And that is when I realize that although the days drag and beat me down it is so worth it because the years go so fast that if you blink your kids are grown and gone.  I really need to learn to slow down a little more and be more present in the present before it becomes the past.........

And Then They Were Five......

"His little hands stole my heart.....
             his little feet ran away with it"


On October 6, 2014 after 39 weeks of waiting we welcomed our third son, Hooper Goldsborough Dabbs into the world at 8:02 am weighing 8 pounds and 7 ounces and measuring 21 inches in length.  He is my largest at birth of the Dabbs boys.  He is our third and final addition and my parents 5th grandchild.  Actually, my parents 5th grandson!  Big brothers Hunter and Steuart are over the moon.  Steuart thinks that Hooper is his baby and loves to hug and pet him.  Yes, pet him.  Like a dog.  Hunter is, as always, very helpful.  

So far Hooper is a great baby.  He is a hungry baby and eats ALL THE TIME but he really only cries when he is hungry and is starting to be an excellent sleeper. He is very laid back and as sweet as he can be.  And he is beautiful.  I do think that we have very beautiful baby boys and Hooper is the last.  He has a sweet little nose and a smile that can light up a room.  

I cannot begin to explain how much joy these boys bring me.  Once upon a time I thought having a girl may be fun.  Kind of like a new adventure.  Now, I don't know what I would do with a little girl.  I was put on this earth to be the mother of boys and I cannot wait to see what their futures hold for them.  I just hope we don't get there too fast because I need the time to slow down a little!  

Oh Boy, Oh Boy!

"A boy is a magical Creature- you can lock him out of your workshop, but you can't lock him out of your heart. ~ Allan Beck"

We are way behind on this blog!  I do apologize!  

Great news for the Dabbs Family to report!  We will be welcoming a new member of the family in October.  Hooper Goldsborough Dabbs will be joining his two older brothers at the beginning of the month.  Just in time for the 3rd Saturday (Tennessee).  Baby Hooper Goldsborough will complete our family of 5 and be the final of the Dabbs children.  We are beyond excited to add another little boy to the family and Hunter is very happy that we will not have dolls in the house.  Steuart is fairly clueless at this point so he is content just running around being a crazy baby!

I have had many people ask and no, we will not be "trying" for a girl.  There will be no 4th child.  I am over the moon about my boys and will not need to have another after Hooper.  Three little boys will be about as much as I am able to handle.  I am quite certain if I were to get pregnant again it would be twin boys and then I would become a member of a club where they dress in white- straight jackets that is.  

I have also had a lot of people ask about his name.  Hooper and Goldsborough are family names on my side through my mother.  My uncle, grandfather, great grandfather, great great grandfather, etc have all been Hooper Goldsborough.  Goldsborough was my middle name and my mothers maiden name.  He will have a very strong Maryland name for an Alabama boy but hey, you're not really cool until you have 3 last names anyway, right :-)  And no, it is not pronounced HOOPer like a basketball hoop.  It is kind of like "hooker" but with a "p" for lack of a better word to use.  Since I did not have a girl to be the 6th Sally this last boy will be named after my favorite uncle, grandfather and so on.  I am over the moon!

My Recent Obsessions

1)  The Maxi Cosi Pria 70 car seat-  on the recommendation of a very experienced mom I purchased this for Steuart and I could not be happier!  Easy to install, easy to clean, SUPER comfy for him.  He is as happy as a clam!  I love it!

2)  Metallic leggings-  Fashion meets comfort in a whole new way.  You can be sassy and breathe!  It is amazing!

3)  Gold-  I am usually a silver girl but recently have been wearing a lot of gold.  And very traditional pieces.  It's like I am getting old.

4)  Claude Moore Jeweler-  They have the BEST customer service ever and I love playing in there.  Especially while making out wish lists.  It's super easy just to say- Jason- check out the list!

5)  Ford-  I love my car.  Still.  I am just OBSESSED with it.  Especially after the road trip from hell to Maryland and back.

6)  Miss Jessie's Pillow Soft Curls-  For curly hair it is the best product I have ever used.  It doesn't make your hair crunchy or sticky.  Just soft and bouncy!

7)  Coco Chanel Mademoiselle-  It's not my signature scent- that is Carolina Herrera but my mom had it so I wore it.  It just smells good.

8)  My hairdresser- Jason Chambers.  He is the best.  Ever.

9)  Veuve Clicquot-  Just had a bottle on NYE and it remains my favorite.

10)  Moms Day Out-  I need this time every week to be a normal person.

Comfy as can be!

Gold leggings!  LOVE!

Easy? Clearly NOTHING Can Be Easy!

“Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.”  -Jane Wagner

Last I wrote we were a couple of weeks away from having another surgery for baby Steuart.  This had been planned for quite some time and was going to be our "easy" outpatient surgery.  When your child goes under it is never "easy" but compared to lung surgery in Birmingham with a 5 day hospital stay on the special care floor of Children's and chest tubes- this was going to be fairly simple..... until it wasn't.

We went to the Infirmary early in the morning as we were supposed to for pre-surg prep which all went well.  Our doctor came out and met us, explained the procedure again and then took back a very happy and alert Steuart who was just shy of 11 months to have his procedure.  

While we were waiting we had our beeper and went to the cafeteria to eat some breakfast.  When we returned to the waiting area we sat around, as most people do.  I was reading, Jason was working on his iPad since he was out of the office.  The doctor came out.  "We have had a little issue.  I don't want to alarm you, but he had some problems breathing so we have given him a breathing treatment and he seems to be doing fine.  We are finishing up now and then he will be in recovery."  So.....the albuterol helped?  Or not.  Clearly I start freaking out because my infant who has a history of pulmonary issues and already had lung surgery is now having a problem breathing.  So we sit.  And we wait.  Not much longer the doctor comes back out and tells us that there is a medical transport team en route to pick up Steuart and take him to the PICU at USA Children's and Womens Hospital.  He went into respiratory distress on the table and they have had to intubate him.  We can see him before he goes but cannot ride on the "bus" with them as there are a number of people working on him and they need all the space available.  We walk in to kiss our baby, on a stretcher with a tube in his mouth and like seven people around him.  They take him away, we get in the car and drive down the street and go up to the PICU.  And we wait.  And wait.  And wait.  About an hour later they finally let us back to the room.  He is completely sedated, with a breathing tube, and restrained so he cannot pull his tube out should he wake.  So our "easy" procedure ends with an emergency ambulance ride to another hospital and a stay in the PICU.  

Long story short we were home a couple of days later.  Being in situations like this and our previous ordeal with my pregnancy and Steuart's birth really puts things in perspective.  This is real life and this is real stress.  Not "I can't find anything to wear to dinner" stress but REAL LIFE STRESS.  Shit just got REAL.  You find out really quickly in situations like this who your friends are and who your acquaintances are.  And I can tell you now, without those friends you're going to have one heck of a time getting through it.  

It's times like this that you realize it really is the people that you can call up and say "I'm about to come un-glued and I need to get out of my house" that are really important people in your life.  If you're not comfortable being real and raw and unguarded then you don't have REAL CLOSE friends.  

It also makes you realize that the person that may not like you for no other reason than you are friends with someone they don't like- they don't matter.  That football game you are worried about- it doesn't matter.  The volunteer project you are working on- it can wait.  Those are all "extras" and "distractions" and things you do on the side.  What is real and what is important is life.  And part of that real life is your family.  Nothing is more important than that.  And if it can't wait while you focus on your children then it isn't that important to begin with.  

You get through it all the best you can and navigate it in the way that best suits you.  And at the end of the day there is nothing wrong with happy pills and wine!

Steuart before his surgery

Steuart and Daddy having fun waiting to go back

In the PICU after being ex-tubated

Alert and HUNGRY!